


Ouroboros

by KinReynard



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Coming of Age, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Multiple Crossovers, Parent-Child Relationship, Polyamorous Losers Club (IT), Post-Divorce, Spoilers for Stephen King's IT, Supernatural Elements, The Shining References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24853702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinReynard/pseuds/KinReynard
Summary: When Stan's son starts seeing strange lights, the Losers must band together to rescue their children from a nightmare they've been trying to put behind them for thirteen years. This time, they're not alone, but the world has gotten even darker than they remember, and some cycles seem set to repeat themselves if they're not careful.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Ben Hanscom/Eddie Kaspbrak/Beverly Marsh/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Patty Blum/Eleven
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	1. Seeing Ourselves In Our Creations

**Author's Note:**

> This fic features the Losers in a polyamorous relationship with each other, and that seemed unfair to Patty so I ended up creating a crossover. The relationships are not the main focus, however, and the real focus is how we are and are not our parents all at once and it's probably a really good thing that cycles are meant to be broken. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've enjoyed ranting about this over Discord to my best friend.

The hardest part of having children is having to see yourself in them as they grow up. 

Stanley Uris sat across the kitchen table, watching as his son Levi methodically worked his way through a bowl of cereal. With the same level of determination found in surgeons performing open heart transplants, Levi parted the bowl into three portions. In one portion of the bowl was milk, untouched and completely free of cereal. The remaining 2/3rd were split between frosted shapes and slightly soggy, slowly rehydrating marshmallows.

“Did you sleep alright?” Stan asked. 

“Yeah, I slept fine,” Levi shrugged, as he continued to parse out his breakfast until he was satisfied. He then started to eat the crunchy cereal bits. He’d save the marshmallows for last. 

“I thought I heard you get up at two,” Stan pressed. 

“I had to get a glass of water,” Levi said. 

Silence passed between them, as Stan looked down at his own bowl of granola, yogurt, and fruit. Broke into three sections. 

“You can tell me anything,” he affirmed more to himself than to his son.

“I know that.” 

“I love you.” 

“I know that too.” 

For a moment Stan worried that there was something unsaid, or angry, or bitter between them but Levi looked up at him across the kitchen table. He was all of twelve, turning thirteen in a month, and slowly his boyish looks were starting to fade into the leaner cut of a teen. His hair, once a sandy blonde, had turned dark over the past year and there was a depth to his deep blue eyes that Stan swore wasn’t there a month ago. 

Of course, Levi had always looked older than he was. Richie had even joked that if Stanley had been born sixty, Levi was at least born 65. 

Stan tried his best to brush his own concerns off. He told himself that he was just worried because Levi was turning into a teenager. He was growing up and change was still something Stan didn’t like. Every inch his son grew felt like an overturned applecart and he had to adjust all over again. Still, he told himself; he didn’t need to worry. Levi was a good kid. 

Checking his watch, Stan winced. 

“Your mom will be by soon,” Stan said and Levi nodded, checking his own watch and agreeing with that assessment. “Are you packed?” 

“Yup.” 

“Want to say goodbye to the rest of the house?” 

“Why? I’ll be back again a week?” Levi squinted like he was trying to see the point. 

“… It’s just being courteous. You shouldn’t leave without telling people,” Stan sighed. 

Levi just shrugged, getting up to wash his bowl, dry his bowl, and put it back in the cabinet with all the other bowls. Stan wondered if he was supposed to say something else, or maybe change the subject. Before he could settle on a course of action, however, his son had left the kitchen to gather his bags. 

Somewhere in the house, Stan heard his friends. They were laughing and there was the sound of their kids roughhousing. Not for the first time, he felt the creeping sensation of isolation move up against him, and then fade just as fast, when Levi came back into the kitchen with his things. 

“I’m going to go say goodbye.” 

Stan smiled. 

“Thank you.” 

Levi shrugged, “I’d hate to be discourteous. Wouldn’t want people to get the wrong impression of me.” 

* * *

Levi carried his bags to the entry foyer of the house. He had clothes, and things, at his mom’s so he didn’t have to worry about too much. Instead, he packed projects. A book he was reading (third in a series about a homeless teenager who discovers they’re the next Merlin or something. He hadn’t been paying attention too much to the big plot twists), a notebook he had been tasked with writing in (his mother’s idea, encouraged by his father and his uncle Bill), and his laptop. He stopped by the door, looking back at where he could hear the sounds of laugher and just sighed. 

His father lived with 6 other friends that he’d known forever and their kids. 

The house was large, and built to accommodate everybody (his uncle Ben was an architect and his uncle Mike was a whiz at getting regulation permits passed). Levi had his own room, and a bathroom he really only shared with one of the other kids, Grace. Grace Kaspbrak, he decided, was the singular good kid of the lot. She was sometimes messy with her side of the sink, but they shared cleaning duties without arguing and she slept in while he woke early. There was a harmony to it that he appreciated. 

He considered at least telling her he was leaving but it felt pointless. 

Everybody knew he spent one week with them and one week with his mom. 

Why belabor the point? They could figure it out themselves. 

_At least try to be social_ the little voice in the back of his head nagged, _you promised your parents._

He had. 

It was part of the terms for his laptop too. 

He could one, but he couldn’t spend all his time on it and had to get out there into the world more often. Which he did. He went hiking in the woods around the house almost daily. Just never with other people. 

“That time of the week again?” a voice asked, making the kid jump. 

Levi was hard to sneak up on, January often complained about it, but Richie Tozier had an amazing skill at it for somebody built like a very gay redwood tree. 

“Y-Yeah,” Levi nodded, taking a breath. 

“Nice, well, I’ll miss ya,” Richie grinned, taking a seat on the bench in the foyer and pulling out his phone. 

“Bet you will.” 

“So will the others,” Richie added. 

“Bet they will too. What are you playing?” Levi asked, curiously looking at the phone. 

“I dunno, some free game. I’m trying to romance the sultan or some shit,” Richie shrugged. 

“Sounds dumb.” 

“Sure it is. That’s the point.” 

Levi appraised his uncle and wondered if his dad had asked him to check on him. Or if maybe this really was all part of Richie’s plan for the day. It was impossible to tell and Levi finally decided he didn’t care either way. Sitting down next to him on the bench, he began to pull on his shoes. 

“Mom says you’re going on tour soon?” Levi asked. 

“I knew Patty was keeping tabs on me,” Richie grinned. “Yeah. I am. Why do you ask?” 

“Just… wondering.” 

“Why? Want tickets?” 

Levi rolled his eyes. 

“I think I have your material memorized by now.” 

“Nah, I snuck some shit I didn’t run past you in there. Can’t let down my biggest fan,” Richie winked. 

Levi flushed, trying to keep his focus on his shoes. He tucked the bows of his laces under the tongue of his sneakers and checked his watch. Five minutes until his mom arrived. 

“… Wanna help me romance the sultan?” Richie offered his phone. 

“Yeah, sure,” Levi nodded, and he sighed as soon as he saw the busty blonde concubine that Richie had chosen as his avatar. 

* * *

At exactly 10 AM, Patty Blum pulled up in front of the ridiculously sleek and over-designed house her ex-husband lived in. He shared the house with his friends, of sorts, from Derry, the ones he had been supposed to meet that fateful night almost thirteen years ago. 

It had been a night like any other night when he’d gotten a call. 

The call. 

Later that night she’d found him dying in the master bathroom tub. He’d been pronounced dead, and she’d feared the worst, when the doctor was shocked and announced that she’d found a pulse. The weeks following were a blur to Patty. Between the coma, and the long recovery period, she hadn’t even blinked when she’d discovered she was pregnant. 

She hadn’t felt anything at all. 

Even now, she had to admit, most days she felt a little numb. Like she was stuck on a track, or a loop, and playing out the parts as needed. It had felt inevitable when the divorce discussion happened, even though it was amicable. They would share their son, once Stanley got settled, and Patty would move closer to make it easier. That was all fine. 

She hated their old house in Georgia. 

Cutting the engine to her sensible but comfortable silver Volvo, she took a deep breath. Once braced, she got out of the car and every worry faded the moment she saw her son. 

Levi was 12 going on 13 and he was perfect.

“Hey there, chickadee!” She called out, opening her arms as he rushed in for a hug. 

“Hey mom!!” 

Patty squeezed him tight, feeling all of her apprehension fade just as fast. It didn’t matter that the house put her on edge, or that she still felt that lurch in her stomach when she saw Stanley. She loved her son more than anything and it would all be alright in the end. For him. 

Richie and Stanley were waiting outside of the house with Levi, and she wondered why it was usually those two who saw him off. Looking up over the top of her son’s head, she gave them a smile. It was really just to be polite. 

“Hey there Patty-Cakes!” Richie waved. 

“Hi, Richard,” Patty teased, as she crouched and got a better look at her son. It was amazing how much he could change in a week, and yet, he was still her baby boy. She ran her hands over his delicate face and tugged at his thick dark curls. 

They’d used to be blonde, like hers, but they were a rich chestnut like his father now. 

“All there in one piece?” Stan asked as he walked over carrying Levi’s backpack. 

“Seems to be. Two eyes, a nose. Ten toes,” Patty smiled, kissing her son on the forehead. “You ready?” 

He nodded, taking his bag from his dad and giving him a quick hug. He was getting taller and didn’t need to stretch as much to do it now. Levi paused to give Richie a fist bump (Richie made his explode with a _“pchew!”_ noise. Levi made his flutter away like a shadow puppet bird), and then he climbed into the front seat of the car. 

“He do alright this week?” Patty asked Stan. 

“Fine, I don’t think he slept well last night,” Stan admitted. 

“Did he say anything about it?” she asked. 

“No,” Stan shook his head, and Patty knew they both knew Levi wouldn’t have said anything even if he’d had the worst nightmare of all time. The boy was private like that. 

“Well, I’ll ask him about it if the timing seems right,” She nods. 

“… Patty, I think I found a good psychologist,” Stan ventured. 

“Oh? That’s good. I thought you already had one though?” She frowned. 

“A child psychologist.” 

There was a sigh that Patty couldn't stop escaping her lips. They’d had this talk at least once a month now. Planting a hand on her hip, she checked to make sure the car door was closed. It was, Levi was fiddling with his seatbelt and likely oblivious. Turning her attention back to Stan, she frowned. 

“Hear me out,” Stan started, holding up a hand. “I just think it would be good. I could have benefitted a lot from seeing a psychologist at his age. That’s all. I think he just has a bit of OCD. And he’s not exactly social with the other kids. I’m not saying that he HAS to go see one. Just that it might do him some good to talk to somebody who…” he paused. 

Patty finished for him. 

“… who doesn’t have any skin in this game?” 

“Exactly,” he gave her a thankful look with those gorgeous blue eyes of his. 

Sad, deep eyes. 

“I’ll… talk to him about it,” she said. 

Stan nodded. She was surprised that he hadn’t brought it up already with Levi but then reconsidered. It made perfect sense that he would avoid that subject with their son. There was an unspoken truce between them, that they wouldn’t lie to Levi. That, unfortunately, meant that there was a lot of omissions that happened sometimes too. 

“… Thanks,” Stan nodded, before looking back at Richie who was making kissing faces at them. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

Patty just winked.

“I think he’s trying to hit on me,” she whispered loudly. 

“I think he’s trying to sleep on the couch tonight,” Stan said, equally dramatic. 

“AW, my heart beats only for you, Peppermint-Patty!!” Richie cried out, adopting a pose like a bad Shakespearean actor. 

“I’ll call you, with Levi’s decision,” Patty nods to Stan, patting his cheek with her hand. 

“Thanks,” He repeated, giving her a hug and turning back to Richie. “Knock it off!!” 

“Tell the others I said hi!” Patty said over her shoulder as she walked to the car and pulled open the driver’s side door. 

“PATTY TAKE ME WITH YOU!!” Richie’s voice was cut off as she closed the door. 

Patty pressed her car’s start button and looked to Levi who was smiling. 

“What’s so funny?” she asked, as she drove away from the house. 

“Uncle Richie is an idiot,” Levi rolled his eyes and Patty smiled. 

“Yeah, they’re all idiots.” 

* * *

Patty pulled the car out of the driveway of the house and back towards civilization. While Stanley and his friends lived in relative peace and seclusion, Patty had opted to live closer to things like the library and the grocery store. She’d bought herself a little cottage house in the historical part of town that had a reasonably sized garden and no bathtubs in any of the bathrooms. There was, however, a small hot tub on the back patio. 

“So, how was everything?” Patty asked once they were far enough away from the house. 

“It was fine,” Levi shrugged, which was his usual answer. 

“Mmm you think traffic is bad on the interstate?” she wondered out loud. 

“It’s terrible,” he said, and she trusted his instinct. He was so much like his father in that way. He had what she had started to call a Knack. It sounded better than a Hunch, and less serious than a Gift. So Patty took the back roads home and let Levi pick the radio station as they wound their way out of the trees and into the city. 

She stopped at the pizza parlor, the good one that was a little further from their home but cooked kosher and had the fluffiest crust that they brushed with garlic salt and butter, and grinned when she saw Levi’s eyes light up. 

“Really?” He asked, unbuckling as soon as the car stopped moving. 

“Really really,” she nodded. 

“It’s not even a special day!!” He said. 

“It's a whatever we want kinda day,” She assured him, as she followed him in and picked up a large pizza for Blum. 

The high school student behind the cash register grinned at Levi, giving him a wink and a nod at the candy dish. Levi, as usual, took one and slipped it into his pocket even though Patty knew he’d just throw it out once he was home. 

“So,” she asked, leaning up against the counter as the employee went to find their food, “I was thinking we could rent a movie. And we get into our PJs early and keep watching movies until we pass out in the living room.” 

Levi considered, then nodded. 

“Alright, but only one romance movie.” 

“Fair, but only ONE wilderness survival movie,” she countered. 

He held out his hand. 

She shook on it. 

Their pizza arrived, and it smelled like heaven. 

“See you soon, Ms. Blum!” The high schooler smiled, and she waved as they got back into the car. Both their stomachs rumbled as the Volvo filled up with the herbaceous scent of homemade marinara and fresh toppings. By the time they reached the house and pulled into the one-car garage, they were practically drooling. 

“Get the plates!” Patty said as she slid the pizza box onto the kitchen island. 

“Already on it!!” Levi said, skidding on his socks to the cabinets. 

Food was served, and they were eating within minutes of their arrival. As they stood in the kitchen, holding their plates and eating their slices, Patty decided this was the right time to talk to Levi. About what Stan had talked about. 

“So, chickadee, did your dad talk to you about anything in particular this week?” she started. 

Levi squinted, “We were thinking of doing a hike out to the ridge next week. Why?” 

She considered, rolling around the best approach before deciding there wasn’t really a tactful way to say _Your father thinks you need a therapist._

“Well, your dad and I have been talking and we want you to maybe meet with somebody to talk.” 

“Really? Who?” 

“Just a professional listener. It might be good.” 

“Oh, you mean a doctor?” Levi considered. 

“Well, a therapist. But yes,” Patty said. 

“Do you think I need one?” Levi asked and Patty shrugged as she got herself another slice. 

“I think everybody could use one. Your father and I have both seen therapists before,” She said. She had stopped, a few years ago, when she finally felt like she got her feet back under her. Stan had continued going. 

Levi looked at his plate. He had eaten everything except the crust. He saved those for last. Glancing at the pizza, he had to make the decision between ending his meal with his crusts or getting another slice. There was no going back once he made that decision. 

The crusts won out. 

“Sure,” Levi shrugged, as he bit down. “I’ll see a therapist.” 

Patty nodded, and tried not to deflate too much, “I’ll call your father tomorrow and see who he had in mind.” 

* * *

Levi really didn’t think he wanted a therapist. But he had to admit his parents probably had the right idea. 

He was just a little off. 

Not off in a bad way, like a hurt neighborhood pets kind of way, but he felt sometimes like he was a different species. Of course, that idea was ridiculous. He was the same as everybody else in the house but he couldn’t help but feel like a specimen behind glass. Sometimes, when others thought he wasn’t looking he’d catch them staring at him. It was worse when he just knew something about them. He always knew when Grace was faking being sick to avoid school. He always knew when Beverly was having a migraine. 

Maybe it was just the house, though, he told himself. It was sensory overload with that many people living together because it wasn’t this bad at his mom’s house. It was quiet, for the most part, in the little cottage, with just the two of them sharing space. Occasionally, his mom had a boyfriend around, but they usually didn’t last long enough to clutter up the air. 

Looking up from the dishwasher, he frowned. 

“Hey, what happened to Austin?” he asked. 

“Oh, it didn’t work out,” Patty dismissed it with a wave of her hand. 

Austin had been a nice guy, though. He was tall, and called Levi “sport”, and liked to play catch in the backyard. Levi had found him nice enough if a little cliched. He had also lasted long enough for Levi to care to check in on the relationship. Six months. 

“… Sorry,” he said. 

“It’s alright! He had to move for a job and I am not moving back to the south again,” his mom said firmly. “Nope, been there done that.” 

He was going to ask another question but Patty held up her hand. 

“Enough about my love life. Go get into your PJs. It’s movie time.” 

Levi obliged, dropping the subject of Austin and brushing the little things about him out of his mind. He took his backpack up the stairs, to where two bedrooms sat at the landing, with a bathroom in between them. The bathroom was new, renovated when they moved in, with a large shower and no bathtub. He turned left, to his room, and unpacked his bag onto his desk. 

School was almost out, and he was caught up on all his homework, so the desk was extra tidy. Placing the laptop, the book, and the journal in a line, he measured the space between each with his pinky finger. Satisfied, he peeled off his clothes for the day and picked out his pajamas. 

He stopped to look at himself in the mirror in the corner of the room. Growing up, he had decided, was unsettling. His knees hurt, all the time and his skin was starting to break out in red spots and bumps that hurt when he scratched them. Worse was that he was growing hair. Dark hair. It was mostly under his armpits, but he’d found one recently on his chest and furtively tugged it out before anybody else could see it. 

“I’m going to start with Roman Holiday!” his mom called out, and he jumped. 

“The Audrey Hepburn movie??” He squinted at the thought. 

“You know it!!” 

“…. FINE.” 

He didn’t mind the movie so much, even if it was in black and white. Pulled away from examining his most recent changes, he picked out a pair of light cotton sleep pants and a shirt that said he was PROUD to be a STALLION. School spirit shirts were so embarrassing, he only wore them when he HAD to or when he was sleeping. He gave himself one last look in the mirror, and tried to tame the worst of his mop of thick curls when his fingers stopped mid tug. 

There was a buzzing in the back of his teeth. 

As he walked around his room, he felt it worse when he was near the window. Looking out at the dark yard, dappled from the light coming through the kitchen windows, he told himself he couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t, either, not at first. As he stared out into the darkness though he thought he saw something bobbing along outside. Like fireflies, but circling each other, weaving out a pattern as the noise in his teeth grew louder and… 

Levi gasped, as he pulled his curtains shut and told himself everything was fine. 

His heart was pounding in his throat and he retched, nearly losing his dinner before he choked it all back down. There was nothing, he told himself, outside. He opened the curtains again, looking out and this time there was nothing. No buzzing, no lights. Just the quaint little garden of his mother’s cottage. 

“… See…” He told himself, and he mostly listened. 

“Alright, Levi! The movie is ready! Bring the popcorn in and let’s get STARTED!” his mom called and Levi braced his hand over his chest. He told himself to be calm and he pushed everything else from his mind. 

“Alright!! I’m coming!! Don't start the movie without me!!” He called back, racing down the stairs of the house and away from any other thought other than having a good time with movie night. 

* * *

It was late, and Stanley couldn’t sleep. 

He got up from his bed, pushing Richie’s heavy arm off his chest, and slipped out to the living room. He had the worst dream. He always had the worst dreams. It was dark, and there was a garden, and it had been full of fireflies except they weren’t really cute cuddly bugs. As they moved around, the leaves and branches they brushed against burst into flames. 

Stan called Patty. 

She had been dead asleep, he guessed, because she was still slurring her words when she answered. 

“Staniel?” she mumbled. 

“… Hey Patty…. is everything ok?” he asked, his throat dry. He could still taste smoke on his tongue. His skin felt parched. 

“Nnnyes. Other than it’s… it’s 2 am,” she yawned. “Is everything ok?” 

“Yes, Yes. Yes sorry. Everythings fine. I just…” he paused. 

“… Did you have a feeling?” she asked. 

“…. No,” he lied, “Just a dream.” 

“Well alright,” she yawned, and he heard her whisper, “It’s nothing chickadee. Go back to sleep.” 

“Levi’s alright?” he asked, wondering why his son had been sleeping next to Patty. Levi never climbed into another bed at home. 

“Yeah, he’s fine. We fell asleep watching… uh….” she paused and then gave up trying to think so early, “… some movie about a castaway.”

“Was it Castaway?” 

“What?”

“With Tom Hanks.” 

“Oh. No. No, no Tom Hanks,” she yawned again. “… Sorry, I’ll call you tomorrow morning.” 

Stan nodded, as the phone line went dead and he sat down on the large living room sectional. A door opened, to another bedroom, and he made out the short and dense shape of Eddie peeking out. Even with his sleep-addled eyes he could tell that Eddie was frowning, either in worry or concern (or a mixture of both) and he waved a hand to show he was alright.

“I’m fine,” he whispered, “Can’t sleep.” 

“… Need to talk?” 

It was impossible to tell if Eddie was asking out of obligation or care, as his voice still held the same brisk edge to it. Stan considered and shook his head. 

“No, it was nothing.” They both knew that wasn’t entirely true, so Stan added, “No red balloons. No clowns. Just fireflies.” 

Eddie seemed content with this and pulled back into his room before poking his head back out. “Is Richie in your room?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Mind if I….?” 

“Steal away,” Stan sighed, “I’m going to be up for a while.” 

Eddie nodded, sneaking out of his room even though the people who slept the lightest in the house were currently all up and moving. Stan dug the TV remote out from between the couch cushions. He turned on the massive 80 inch 4k monstrosity and turned down the volume so when he settled on a channel the soothing voice of David Attenborough was just barely audible over the sound of Richie and Eddie sneaking back into Eddie’s room. 

Stan sighed, staring at the TV as a portion of the documentary about zebras gave way to the mating rituals of flamingos. He tried to shake the dream from his mind but found it was still lodged in there. The odd bobbing and weaving of the fireflies felt like it was burned into the back of his eyelids. They flashed at him with every blink. 

The documentary had moved from the Sahara to the ocean, and finally was on the Tibetan mountains when Stanley finally fell asleep. Slumped against the cushions, he pulled a decorative pillow against his chest and hugged it close. 

When he did finally fall back asleep, the sun was starting to peek through the trees and his exhausted body finally succumbed to the dreamlessness only afforded to the well and truly exhausted. 


	2. Knives, Tongues, and Other Sharp Objects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi gets therapy from a guest star, and the Losers go for a hike with their kids. It's too bad that old ghosts with bad judgment skills start stepping up their game.

# Chapter Two

Levi found himself sitting in the car outside the therapist’s office that Wednesday. Since he’d had the run-in with the fireflies, though, nothing else had happened of any particular note. In fact, he had started to convince himself that maybe all that really was just in his head. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’d written down all the details he could remember in his journal, he might have even believed his own lies. 

He hadn’t told his parents though. There was nothing, he decided, to tell them anyway. Without some kind of proof, it was probably just going to be excused as an overactive imagination. 

His parents had put together a plan and decided Levi would go once a week to the shrink, to start, and they’d play the rest by ear. His mom hadn’t exactly been thrilled, but she still was punctual as ever as she picked him up from school and drove him to the little cluster of office buildings that also housed a pair of lawyers, a contractor for commercial building sites, and a holistic life coach among other businesses. There were cars spattered around the parking lot, but otherwise, the office park was quiet. 

“Remember, if you don’t like this doctor you can say so and we’ll find you another one,” his mom reminded him for the third time in ten minutes. 

“Yeah, I know,” he nodded, checking his shoelaces. 

“Ok, because you don’t have to settle. If you feel uncomfortable or they’re not helping, we won’t make you go back.” 

“I got that,” Levi assured her. 

“Okay. Do you want me to come in with you?” she asked. 

Levi took the time to consider this question. Of course, she’d come into the office with him and handle the paperwork. But the receptionist had let them know that the child had to consent to have a parent be present during the session. On one hand, Levi didn’t think he had anything he needed to hide from either parent. On the other hand, it was possible he very well did and he would find this out at the worst possible time. 

“No… I think I can handle it.” 

“Alright. Well, we’re up chickadee. We wouldn’t want to be late.” 

They got out of the car and walked into the building. The nice receptionist told them they needed to get to the third floor, where they’d find Doctor Hopper’s door on the left. Patty was given a clipboard of paperwork to fill out and was told she could drop that back off any time before the session ended and they could figure out the payment plan. 

The directions were spot on and they found themselves standing in front of a classic-looking door of wood and frosted glass with the name. Doctor J. E. Hopper, PsyD. painted on. Patty checked the post-it note in her pocket to confirm the office number and then knocked on the door. A pleasant voice called out “Come in, I’m just getting things ready.” 

On the other side of the door was a shallow waiting room and another door, this one made of solid wood with no windows. A couch and a chair, both very overstuffed, sat next to a coffee table where a few books and magazines were scattered. Levi looked at them curiously and began to tidy up the piles. 

“Alright, chickadee. I’m right here, ok? I’ll be waiting and when you’re done we can go get a smoothie. Sound good?” Patty smiled, as she took a seat on the chair and began to look over the paperwork..

Levi nodded, aligning the spines of the tidy tower of paperbacks against his pinky. He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw the title of the top book. The Glowing, by B. Denborough. He held it up to his mom who looked up and laughed too. 

“I don’t know if I approve of the doctor’s tastes…” Levi noted, putting it back down on the stack. 

“It really was one of his worst,” Patty agreed. 

Before they could be any more critical, though, the door to the inner office opened and Doctor Hopper walked out. She was a tall, athletic woman who had short dark curls and looked to be his parents' age despite the fact she still wore sneakers with her otherwise professional-looking slacks and blazer. When her eyes settled on Levi, though, he felt something tug at the edge of his thoughts. It wasn’t uncomfortable, or bad, but he had an odd feeling that he could trust her. 

“Sorry for the wait, I’m Doctor Hopper,” she introduced herself to Levi, crouching down so she could shake his hand properly. He obliged, before returning his hands to his pockets. Her eyes moved to the coffee table, and she winked at him, “Thanks for fixing my mess. Shall we get started?” 

Levi glanced at his mom, who gave him a reassuring nod, and he looked back at the doctor. 

“Alright,” he said, following her into the office. 

It was very much like the room he’d just left, but instead of a couch, there was a chaise lounge to lie on. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that, though, so he sat down on the bump in the seating meant to support a much taller person’s knees and looked around. There were bookshelves lining one wall, filled with the rank and file medical texts. Mixed in, though, were pulpy fantasy novels with names like The Forgotten Realm or In The Court of Elves. A figurine or two was scattered about, and it all looked… friendly. Like a smart nerd’s office. 

The art on the walls wasn’t anything special, he suspected it was bought at a clearance price from some home decor store, but it had a certain whimsy to it. There were birds, and dragons, and knights as a theme. It was all brighter than the offices he was used to and smelled like cardamom and maple syrup. 

“Alright, why don’t we get started? How about you introduce yourself to me?” the doctor said as she closed the door and walked over to the chair next to the coffee table. 

“… Don’t you know my name?” he asked. 

“Sure, but you knew mine, and I still gave it,” she replied. 

“Your name is on the door.” 

“Yeah, it is. So, why don’t you tell me who you are?” 

Levi sighed, as he turned his attention back to the task at hand. His knack told him he could trust her, but he still wasn’t quite sure he trusted the knack. Not after what had happened with the fireflies. 

“I’m Levi Uris, I’m twelve years old. I was born in Atlanta, Georgia.”

“And that’s your mother in the waiting room, right? Patty Blum?” she asked, pulling out a notebook and giving a pen a click. 

“Yeah. We have different names because my parents divorced soon after I was born,” he nodded. 

“And did you choose to stay with Uris?” 

“It was on my birth certificate and it seemed like a lot of work to change it,” Levi shrugged. 

The doctor laughed, and he felt relieved. Too many people didn't laugh at his jokes. He was starting to worry he had a bad sense of humor. 

“Well, I’ll make to make sure I note that you’re very practical,” she told him. 

“…. So, what should I talk about next?” Levi asked. 

“Whatever you want. I’m here to listen, and to give you some advice, but really I’d just like to hear about your day.” 

Levi squinted, trying to think if this was some sort of trick but she just watched him with the same pleasant expression. Giving up, he shrugged and started to talk. 

At first, he just talked about school. There was only really one good week left, as the last few days of the year were always wasted on school spirit assemblies and parties. His grades were fine, straight A’s in everything except Gym where had been given a solid B-. Really, Levi concluded, he was doing just fine. Everything about him was… fine. 

“Fine?” she asked. 

“Yeah. Just fine. You know.” 

“Maybe I don’t. Maybe you can explain to me what a person being fine means.” 

Levi sighed, and he found himself stretching out on the chaise and staring at the ceiling. There was a smiley face sticker somebody had pressed up against one of the tiles. 

“When a person is fine, it’s like… you don’t have to worry about them. Because they’re not at any risk. They’re not high maintenance. They’re like… a succulent. You can leave them alone and they’ll end up alright.” 

“That’s not true. Succulents actually need a lot of care,” she told him. 

“They do?” 

That didn’t sound right to Levi, and it was like she read his mind. 

“They do. They need the right soil and proper drainage. If they don’t get enough light they will stretch towards the brightest light source… and they end up leggy and thin and they collapse on themselves,” she explained. 

“That sounds like… you have a lot of experience. With succulents.” 

Doctor Hopper nodded gravely, her tone as serious as an IRS audit. 

“Oh, I do. I get them all the time as gifts from clients because they’re supposed to be easy to take care of.” 

“… But I don’t see any in your office?” Levi squinted at her. 

“Experience doesn’t mean expertise,” She told him and that made perfect sense to him. 

He made a mental note to note to not get her any plants on the off chance that he might have to give her a gift in the future. 

* * *

An hour went by fast, and just as Patty came back up from setting up the payment system for Levi’s sessions the door to the inner office opened. Levi looked exactly the same going out as he had to come in. No red eyes, no blotchy cheeks. Patty felt a wave of relief rush through her. Pulling him into a hug, she smiled at him. 

“How’d you do?” she asked. 

“I’m afraid I’m mentally unfit. I’ll have to be sent to the asylum,” he said with a sad shake of his head. 

“Well, your father picks you up on Sunday, can it wait until then?” 

She laughed with him before she realized the Doctor was still standing there. 

Watching them. 

Probably not getting their inside joke and possibly very concerned about how they were talking about Stanley. Clearing her throat, she stood up and began to tidy up Levi’s hair in an absent sort of way. 

“I think this was a good first session,” Doctor Hopper said, “Levi is a very bright young man and I think we laid some good groundwork today.” 

“Is that so?” Patty felt a flush of pride that somebody else, somebody obviously smart, could see how gifted her child was. 

“Yes. So I’ll see you next Wednesday.” 

With that, they left the office and got back into the car. Patty sighed. The sessions weren’t cheap, but she could tell something was different about Levi. It was a good different though. His shoulder seemed less tense like he wasn’t waiting for some awful thing to come around the corner. They buckled their seatbelts and set a course for the nearest smoothie place where Patty would order something with lots of chocolate and Levi would order something without any sugar and lots of fresh fruit. 

Sitting across the little bistro table outside the shop she licked the last of her smoothie off the end of the straw. 

“So, being 100% honest, how did you like your session today?” she asked. 

Levi took a moment to consider. 

He always did that when she gave him a variable of 100%. She didn’t use it often, usually giving his choice a margin of error, and often defaulting to 87%. 

“I liked it,” he decided, returning to finishing off the last of his own treat. “Did you know that succulents are hard to take care of?” 

“Are they? That doesn’t seem right.” 

“Well, that’s what the doctor said,” he shrugged. 

“Did you guys talk about… houseplant care?” 

“Well, just a little. Mostly we just talked about my day,” he explained, “Do you think we could stop by the bookstore on the way home? I want to pick up some books on plant care.” 

“Thinking of raising succulents?” She teased. 

“No, I just want to check her sources,” he replied, then they laughed. 

She didn’t mind swinging by the store on the way home; they had the time and Levi had done his homework for the week, anyway. She’d paid for the books he’d picked out, even though he insisted he had enough in his savings, saying that she’d been thinking of adding some plants to the interior of the cottage. Then they went home, and Levi spent the rest of the night taking notes in the books he’d gotten, and Patty got caught up on her emails. 

They were mostly spam, but she had a letter from her mom reminding her to call more often. Just as she was about to shut her computer down for the day she got an email from Doctor Hopper. Curious, she opened it. Inside was mostly information about the billing structure and the meeting schedule for the month. There was a spot for a personalized message near the end and Patty couldn’t help but smile as she read the note. 

_It’s been a real pleasure meeting your son, Levi, and I look forward to getting to know him better._

The therapy might not have been her idea, but Patty couldn’t deny that there was a pep in her son she hadn’t seen in a while. Not that he was a miserable kid, but he was cautious. Like his father, there was a sort of anxious pins and needles type of energy that seemed at times to overwhelm him. When she went to check on him, though, she found him asleep in his bed with one of the plant care books still open and his cheek pressed up against the illustration of an Easter Cactus. 

Slipping the book out from under him, she kissed his cheek and turned off the light. 

* * *

Stanley pulled up into the driveway in front of Patty’s cottage. The house, he had decided, suited her well. It wasn’t too big, just two-bedrooms and 2.5 baths, but the garden was inviting and she had a hummingbird feeder on the front porch that he’d given her as a gift last mother’s day. Plus, the place just felt welcoming. 

The nightmare about the fireflies had mostly faded from his mind. It wasn’t like bad dreams were uncommon in the house. He still heard Bill screaming some nights. Given what they’d all gone through, it was understandable. He killed the engine on his sensible Audi and got out of the car just as Levi stepped out of the house. 

“C’ mere, chickadee,” he said, holding out his arms as his son rushed into them. 

As soon as his arms wrapped around Levi, he felt relief. Just holding him felt like he was being grounded in the best way possible. This was all real, and his son was there in his arms, and none of it was some sort of sick, dying dream. It had taken him years to get past that worry, one he now knew to be irrational. 

“Go ahead and get into the car,” Stan told his son, and Levi nodded. He knew the drill. Patty walked out, and he loved how she looked on that porch. She was wrapped up in a chunky sweater because the air was still chilly despite summer encroaching. He wished every day they could have worked out better, but they both knew sometimes things happened that nobody could control. Still, he knew he was happy, and he hoped sincerely that she was too. 

“How did he do?” Stan asked. 

“Good. His last day of school is on Tuesday,” she said even though she knew he had that date on his calendar. Twice. 

“How did his first session go? Did you like Doctor Hopper?” He asked. 

“I did. How did you find her?” she asked. 

“A colleague of mine recommended. Her son goes to her, and she said she’s a real miracle worker.” 

“Other than Levi deciding he’s interested in the logistics of owning desert acclimated house plants, he’s doing just fine,” Patty shrugged. 

“… He’s into succulents?” 

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like he’s into drugs or porn so I guess I’m happy he just wants to own a cactus.” 

They both laughed. The idea that Levi, of all the children, would be the one to get into trouble was ridiculous. He was the least of anybody’s worries, a good kid through and through. Stan fiddled with the key fob in his pocket, wanting to ask if the doctor had said anything in person about Levi’s cleanliness, but Patty beat him to the punch to break the silence. 

“My parents want to fly in for the Bar Mitzvah.” 

Stan nodded. 

“Seems fair. How’s Herbert?” he asked. 

“The usual,” Patty said, and they both knew what that meant. 

If the divorce had been hard on them, it had been hardest on Herbert Blum. The man only had one daughter and while she had found some success as a teacher in Atlanta, despite his misgivings, she’d once again uprooted her life for Stanley when they moved to the West Coast. Not only that, but she’d taken their grandson with her. 

Not that they weren’t great grandparents. Levi was, by all accounts, utterly spoiled by them. He hadn’t seen the details, but Stan was starting to suspect that his son’s Bar Mitzvah was going to be very different from his own. Less teenage rebellion, more celebrity DJs, and VH1 coverage. 

“Well… thank you,” Stan said. 

“Whatever for?” Patty asked, leaning against the entry of her patio deck. 

They knew what for though. 

Stan got back into the car and glanced over at Levi. He was reading a book that Stan suspected was about indoor gardening. 

* * *

The fact that Grace Kaspbrak wasn’t the oldest child in the house was a constant source of frustration for the twelve-year-old. She was four months younger than Levi Uris, a fact that came with the knowledge that he would finish school before her, he would hit a growth spurt before her, and he was generally going to always be a little ahead of her because he’d gotten a head start. She tried to look on the bright side, and would often remind him that statistics were on her side that she’d outlive him, but she also hated seeing him sad.

Levi was sad a lot. 

Maybe it was just his face, she thought. His dad, Stanley, looked sad a lot of the time too. It was possible they both had depression, as studies had shown that mental illness could paternally, like any other host of genetic issues, affect bloodlines. Or maybe he was a terrible combo of somebody who looked sad and was sad, and people just wrote it off as his look and never took his feelings into account. Either way, she was determined that there would have to be at least be one summer without Levi looking downright miserable in every group photo. This was going to be that summer. 

So Grace had hatched a plan. 

Levi was coming home like he did every other Sunday from visiting his mom. She was also aware that he had been lined up for some sort of merit award at their school (teacher’s pet awards, they’d been called by some of their other classmates) and had neglected to tell anybody about it. She’d only found out because she’d been at the school nurse’s office and heard a teaching assistant mention it. It hadn’t taken her much effort to get her hands on a copy of the award, as she had assumed that Levi had thrown out the one he had been told to bring home. Or he had given it to his mother, but either way, nobody in the house was aware of it. 

That was all going to change. 

She had gathered the other two kids in the living room of the house that Sunday morning and stood before them with a clipboard and notepad she had borrowed from her dad’s office. Clearing her throat to catch their easily lost attention, she snapped the clip of the board loudly for emphasis. It was satisfying when the two’s eyes locked onto her, wide and surprised by the metal on pressed wood whip-crack. 

“You are probably all wondering why I called you here,” she announced. “As you are aware, our colleague—” 

“What’s a colleague?” January Hanscom asked, raising her hand. 

“Like… Like a person, you know really well.” 

“So… like a neighbor?” 

“No, he lives in the same house as us. He can’t be a neighbor,” Grace explained, then noticed another hand. “Yes, Donnie?” 

“So this is about Levi?” Donovan Denborough asked. 

“Of course it’s about Levi,” Grace replied. 

“Well, you should have led with that,” Donnie said. 

“It’s true. This has been very misleading,” January added. 

Grace wished dearly she was working with reasonable creatures, but Donnie and January were straddling either side of 11 years with six months in between. They were, at best, cursed with a short attention span and at worst could maliciously derail any plan in seconds. That didn’t matter to Grace, however, as she had a bargaining chip. Reaching under the coffee table she pulled out the surprise she had stashed in case of emergencies. A box of Oreos. 

“I will let you two eat every disgusting cookie in here and destroy the evidence if you listen to my plan and agree to work with me,” Grace said. 

The two considered, leaning away to whisper covert negotiations with each other before they turned their attention back to the coffee table. 

“We will agree to consider your plan,” Donnie said, as January reached for the cookies. 

Grace pulled them back. 

“You will agree to consider, and if you decide not to play along, you agree to not sabotage my plans,” she countered. 

January froze, looking back to Donnie for approval and the girl gave a nod like the tiniest mafia don. As soon as she did so, the far more energetic half of their pair lunged forward and began to rip open the packaging. Grace smiled.

As the two younger kids began to fill up on the contraband processed and terrible sugars, Grace outlined her plan. They would surprise Levi with his award. This caught the attention of Donnie, who was the only other one to bring home awards from school with any real regularity. Grace suspected she smelled competition. It was like blood in the water during shark week, but she stayed firm anyway. There was no reason why they couldn’t celebrate Levi’s accomplishments as well.

“Why are we throwing a party?” Donnie asked. 

“Well, we have ice cream sundaes every time you bring home a ribbon from class or gym. We never do anything for Levi,” she shrugged. 

“Levi’s never done anything important,” Donnie replied cooly. 

“That we know of,” Grace countered. 

“Can’t we just do a sundae night?” January asked as she fished licking the dark crumbs off the corners of her mouth. 

“We all know Levi doesn’t like sundaes. And this is the first time we’ve caught him winning an award! We need to… I dunno. Make sure he knows he’s done something great,” she sighed. 

“Did you talk to the parents about this?” Donnie asked, suspicious now. 

“Of course not. I’m talking to you. My equals,” Grace assured them, but she could feel her plan slipping out of her fingers quickly. 

“So let me get this right… Levi wins one award and you want us to all… celebrate with a party and doing boring Levi things like work on a group puzzle or something?” January sighed. 

“… Yes.” 

January and Donnie got their feet, brushing off the incriminating crumbs of their meal. The bargaining period was over now and Grace felt her stomach drop. They were going to leave. At least, she concluded, they weren’t going to mess the rest of the day up. Not that it mattered much, she would need to adjust her plans. Thankfully she had a plan for if the plan didn’t go according to plan. She checked the time on her watch and did the math. Levi was due home at any moment. 

“It’s been a pleasure,” Donnie said, and she left. 

“BYE!” January waved, rushing off after Donnie as the sugar began to course through her veins. 

Grace sighed, cleaning up the mess that had been left on the coffee table. She was just finishing burying the evidence in the outside garbage bin when she heard Stanley’s car pull up into the driveway and park in the garage. Dusting herself off and sanitizing her hands, she turned the corner into the garage to see Levi was already getting out the car looking like he always did.

Tidy, slight, and just a little sad. 

“Hey Levi!” She called, running after him. 

He stopped and waited for her. 

“Hey Gracey.” 

“Do you have a moment?” She asked, and he nodded. “Great, I wanted to uh… steal your attention for a bit.” 

“Okay… Can I drop my stuff off inside?” He asked, and she paused. 

“… You might want to hold off. The terrible two are hyped up on illicit sugar.” 

Levi stopped and gave her a look that told her he had his suspicions. She held up her hands, shrugging, and they detoured away from the living room. It sounded like a wise decision, because something heavy hit the floor, and Grace hoped it wasn’t a kid getting hurt. She did feel, at least, a little responsible. 

Grace followed Levi through the house, taking the opportunity to slip away as he dropped his bag off in the mudroom. She stopped by her room to dig out the copy of the award and the rest of her supplies and just in time. Across the hall, she could hear him sputter for a moment in surprise as he opened the door to his room. Grace grinned as she spun back around and rushed into his room without bothering to knock. 

Inside, his neat and minimalist room was, for lack of a better word, _festive._

She’d carefully spent her time that morning before the negotiations hanging banners across the room. They were banners used for other celebrations, however, so not only was he wished a Happy Birthday, he was wished a Bright Hanukkah and a very Hoppy Easter. They didn’t really make “Congrats on getting an award” banners. It still look celebratory enough. Confetti, the type that was large, easy to pick up, and practically the size of small dinner plates, were scattered about on every surface she could find. She’d placed a brand new puzzle on his desk with a bow. 

“Congratulations!” she sang as she held out the copy of his award like a shield. 

Levi was still sputtering as he turned around and she couldn’t tell if he was just surprised, or maybe he was mad. His face was flushed all the way to the tips of his ears and his eyes were glassy with what she hoped where the good type of tears. 

“Listen, the others are busy because they uh… ate a ton of really unhealthy sugar. But! You deserve a party!” she grinned, and she wanted to add _and you deserve a summer where you’re not sat at the start and sad at the end._ She didn’t say that though. She just smiled and waited for Levi to crack. 

And he did. 

He smiled. 

It was a great smile, as he rubbed his cheeks with the heels of his hand and she realized he really _was_ crying. She couldn’t stop herself from throwing herself into a hug. Squeezing him tight, there was a surge of triumph when she felt him wrap his arms around her too. He might not be related to her by blood, but he was her brother even if he was weird. That’s okay though. They were all weird. The house was weird. And she loved him fiercely. 

“Wanna do the puzzle?” she asked when she finally let go. 

“… Yes. But you have to help me clean up first,” he said. 

“I thought you’d say that. I have the storage boxes for the decorations in my room. I’ll go get them,” she nodded. 

Just as she was about to step out, though, she heard him say her name. 

“Grace…?" He asked as he looked at the picture on the puzzle box, “What’s this puzzle?” 

“It’s a thousand pieces, and it makes a succulent garden! The lady at the shop said I was a sadist for picking it. I said she didn’t know my brother,” she grinned. 

Levi stood, looking at the box before he smiled at her. 

“I love it.” 

“I know, you sap,” She said before she ran off to get the box. 

* * *

Word of Levi’s award had slipped out as Grace had hoped it would and that night they had a massive dinner. Chinese food was ordered, in bulk, and the extra leaf had to be put in the table so everybody could have a seat without bumping elbows. Dessert was sundaes, which Levi avoided, but he did take an extra fortune cookie and nobody made an issue of it. 

Later that night, while Donnie and January bickered over which movie to watch, Levi and Grace retreated back to work on the puzzle a little more. She did her best to keep pace with him, but even her patience wore thin with the task. As she fought back the third yawn in less than five minutes, Levi checked the time. It was getting late, he agreed, and he let her off the hook. She could go to bed. He’d finish the puzzle later. Relieved, she shuffled off to her own room and Levi considered the half-finished image of a hundred tiny succulents framed in a box. 

A moment of youthful pique hit him as he decided he would, for once, stay up late. After all, he might pay for it the next day at school but all the good days of class were done. He’d just be tired during an assembly. Everybody knew middle school didn’t count, anyway. Not in the long run. 

At midnight, a knock came at the door. Levi looked up to see his dad poking his head in. 

“Hey, I was hoping we could… is that a new puzzle?” Stan asked as he stepped into the room. Levi looked down at where he had spread the pieces over the floor and nodded. 

“It was a gift. From Grace,” he explained. 

“That was nice of her,” Stan said, and Levi shrugged. He didn’t mention their hug, or that he’d cried. It was just a dumb middle school award, anyway. A Teacher’s Pet certificate. Stan sat down on the floor across from his son and looked at the remaining pieces. He frowned for a moment at the subject matter, an expression that Levi didn’t entirely miss. 

“Grace just like plants. I guess. I don’t think it has any meaning,” the boy explained as he looked for another piece. His fingers drifted through the air as he tried to find the match, and he didn’t so much use his eyes as trust his gut. Stan was the exact same way, as he picked up a piece without looking and slid it into its proper spot. 

“I just wanted to check on you,” Stan said, his voice low just in case the house might be able to hear him. It was a valid concern, midnight was pretty early for most of the house to tuck into bed. Levi was usually the exception. 

“Thank you, but I’m doing alright,” Levi assured him. 

They fitted a few more pieces into the overall picture; the silence hanging between them verged on uncomfortable but always stayed just on the right side of understanding. Levi didn’t need his dad to praise him, for an award. It was why he hadn’t really wanted to make a fuss of it, anyway. He knew his dad was proud of him. Not least of all because he was his dad’s only son. All it would have done was make Donnie jealous and Levi was hoping to get through life without upsetting too many people. Plus, Donnie was developing a mean streak when she was jealous and the last thing he wanted was to get caught up in a competition with her. 

Stan, meanwhile, knew his son was feeling better having had one therapy session and was thankful that he’d agreed to a weekly schedule. For whatever reason, he knew Levi had a hard time opening up to him. He was the same way at that age, and it would have been pointless to force anything. It wasn’t like he was trying to ignore his son. He knew all too well what it was like to feel isolated for something you really had no control over. Just what that something was, well, that was a harder subject to breach. 

“You know you can talk to me. About anything.” 

“I know that,” Levi said, as he considered the puzzle piece in his hand. 

“… Alright. It’s just… I was a kid once.” 

“Shocking.” 

“… and I know how it feels to feel a bit alone.” 

“Hard to imagine.” 

Stan paused, putting down the puzzle piece and giving a sigh. 

“What is the matter? I thought tonight went very well.” 

“It’s nothing. Tonight was great,” Levi shrugged, in the universal answer of all disaffected, soon-to-be-teenagers. That night, though, Stan was having none of it. 

“You were in a good mood when I picked you up, what happened? I thought Grace did something nice for you,” he pressed. 

“She did. Grace is always nice.” 

He didn’t have to say anything else. 

“Levi, the others are children,” Stan said. 

“Yeah, they’re kids,” Levi agreed. 

“Children are… selfish sometimes. Really selfish.”

“I know.” 

“… It’s… It’s okay to be upset. You… you did very well today. You deserve to feel proud about that,” Stan stressed, as he put down the puzzle piece and really looked at his son. 

Levi was growing so fast. It was hard to even imagine him as the wide-eyed little kid that used to follow around the nearest adult like a lost puppy. It felt like every year they just got further apart, and for the third time that week, Stan wondered if this was how his father felt. If he had been seen as drifting, like this, when he was twelve going on thirteen. 

The difference, he supposed, was that he had his friends. 

He sincerely worried that Levi might not have anybody else to lean on. 

“Well, I’m proud. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me,” Stan assured his son, going back to the puzzle. 

“… Thanks. I couldn’t be here without you,” Levi said, and it might have sounded rude if a small, cheeky smile hadn’t started to spread across the boy’s face. 

That night, they finished the puzzle. When the alarm went off for school, Stan got up from where he had curled up on the floor of his son’s bedroom and turned the alarm off. Levi was still dead asleep, and he brushed a curl off his forehead before kissing the now exposed temple. Digging his phone out of his pocket, Stan called the school and reported that Levi had been not feeling well since last night and he was letting the administration know he wouldn’t be in that Monday. 

He likely wouldn’t be in the day after either. 

Then Stanley Uris left his son’s room and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

Fresh fruit, yogurt, and granola. 

Broke into three equal portions. 

* * *

The first day of summer vacation started as it always had, with a hike. 

Early, at the crack of dawn, everybody in the house got up and loaded into two very stuffed cars. Like a mini-caravan, they kept driving until they found a good pull-off spot. The route was mapped out the day before, and usually the least navigationally troubled was given the map and instructions to lead. Which meant that Eddie was in charge.

Levi didn’t mind this, as he stepped out onto the gravel parking lot of the park and checked the laces of his hiking boots. While he knew not everybody agreed with him, he found Eddie easy to get along with. So long as you weren’t messing around or actively inviting danger you would for the most part be left alone. Which is why January was having a hard time, as she immediately burst out of the sliding door of the van and tried to escape into the woods. 

Eddie caught her by the loop of her Hello Kitty backpack and hauled her back. 

“Oh good, you stopped her,” Levi said dryly. 

“C’mon, she wouldn’t last five minutes in the wilderness,” Grace chastised him and he shrugged on his backpack. 

“We won’t know until we test that theory, Gracey,” he mused, dodging her elbow as she jabbed it at his ribs. 

The forest was dense; the shade allowing for some truly impressing shag carpeting of moss to accrue in long streaks along the redwood trunks. It was a longer hike than usual, almost a five-mile circuit, but the kids were getting older and it was decided that if anybody got too tired… well. Ben or Mike would carry them back.

There was an ongoing betting pool on if the one who ended up being hauled back like a sack of potatoes would be January or Richie. The smart money was on January, but Levi liked the risk and the image of Richie being hauled back like so much dead weight. 

The plan was simple. Two-thirds through the hike there was a small pond where they would unpack their lunches and take in the natural splendor. By then they would probably want a rest anyway as they had chosen a path that was less traveled. Rough terrain would be the largest challenge facing them and meant that they had to be more careful than usual. 

The walking order was determined next. The stronger hikers sandwiched the younger (or Richie) hikers. Levi had found himself keeping pace near the back, though Mike was at the end chosen at the tail. Between them was Grace, who had insisted she was feeling a little tired and unwell, but Levi knew she was lying. She did this every hike so she could be closer to the back. As soon as they were a few minutes into the woods, she began alternating asking questions between himself and Mike. 

“Lev! LEV! What bird was that?” she’d ask. 

“I wish I could have seen it before you screamed at it,” he’d tease. 

“Are there any abandoned buildings in these woods?” she tilted her head back at Mike. 

“No, none that I saw on any maps but it’s very possible we could stumble across hunting blinds or maybe a lean-to cabin,” Mike mused.

“We should go to a ghost town sometime,” Grace said. “I was reading that there’s a lot in California.” 

“I think we could do that. Bodie is a popular one. Or Silver City. Or we could…” 

Levi began to tune out Mike as his uncle continued to discuss the interesting history of the gold rush and its effects on the local communities. Grace was, of course, enthralled. At least, Levi consoled himself, it was a better discussion than the last hike, where Grace had spent at least two hours grilling Ben about the history of the brutalist movement.

Somehow, without any real rhyme or reason, Grace would become aware she was fixating on only one person and would swivel her attention back to Levi. This time, it happened right after she decided that Bodie was in, but Calico was out (too commercial, she had declared). 

“See any cool wildlife, Lev?” she asked. 

“Noooo,” he said, debating if he should mention that their group made enough noise that the only wildlife they would run across would have to be deaf and blind. He decided against it and shrugged. “But I was excited to hike this region. There’s a rare blue-breasted snipe in these woods.” 

It was a surprise when Mike joined in. 

“Really? I had heard they were extinct.” 

“Oh. Yes. There was thought about that but on a local Audubon forum they said they spotted mating barrows less than a mile away from our picnic spot,” Levi said with a sincere nod. 

Grace was hooked. Her eyes were bright as she rushed up a little closer to Levi. 

“Tell me everything about the blue-breasted snipe.” 

“Oh, I don’t know. We probably won’t have time to _really_ look for one. Not today,” Levi said. 

He then spent the next hour of the hike coming up with more and more ridiculous details. Mike had joined in, lending a certain air of credibility to the endeavor. All the kids knew he was the smartest of the parents. He had worked in a library, and he now ran a travel blog that was as successful as it was well cited and sourced. Levi alone could probably be trusted, but with Mike on his side, he might as well have been certified 100% true. 

This was why, as soon as the ragged path broke into the scenic vista of a small lake Grace had forgotten all about how hungry she was. She wanted only one thing. To find the snipe and make history by proving they were not in fact extinct. Levi assured he had all the faith that she would be successful. If anybody could do it, it was Grace Kaspbrak. 

Taking a seat on a rock, he unpacked his sandwich from his bag and watched as she bullied the other kids into the hunt. Bill had joined in, and by extension had dragged Ben and Beverly into the fun as well. The break was anything but restful until Eddie had decided he had enough of the nonsense and he went off to find where the others had run off it. 

“For fuck's sake, it’s a literal snipe hunt. How dumb do you have to be…” he had been heard muttering as he stalked off into the trees. 

Levi just smiled as the silence began to seep back into the scenery when he stopped mid-bite. Drifting along with the trees across the lake he saw… dots. Little specks of light that had begun to bob and weave along an unseen path. His stomach churned and he felt the low thrum in his teeth again. He looked around, but the woods were… empty. Nobody was around. It was just him. 

He couldn’t hear anybody else around. If the original silence had been peaceful, this one was oppressive. Its weight pressed down on him, trapping him as his heart began to race. 

Not even the idiotic whooping that Mike had insisted was the Snipe’s mating all and that January and Richie had adopted with gusto cut through the peat bog thick nothingness that was encroaching on his lunch. The world itself felt tight and the edges between the trees were dark. Then his eyes fell upon something hidden in the bank of the lake. A metal glint. 

Every inch of his body felt like a live-wire. Tearing his eyes from the fireflies, he walked to the edge of the water and reached into the silty sand. His fingers closed on metal and wood and he pulled out a knife. The handle was smooth, worn from a mixture of use and age. Levi jumped when his thumb brushed along a switch and the blade popped out with a slick _SNKT_. 

It was sharp. 

It was ready. 

Levi’s eyes drifted up, trying to see where the knife could have come from and he swore saw faces under the water. He felt watched by hundreds of eyes, just waiting under the lake, and staring at him. Staring at the knife. The fireflies were a frenzy as they moved across the water at him, rushing forward while his molars threatened to ping out of his face like a bad cartoon. 

All at once, the world returned to Levi Uris. 

“SNIPES ARENT REAL?! YOU ASSHOLE!!” 

It was Grace.

Whatever spell had been cast was broken. Levi’s heart raced to make up for the lost time and in his panic, he chucked the knife as far as he could across the lake. It landed with a plunk. There were no faces under the water now. Just mossy rocks. Spinning around, he saw Grace stalked towards him her face crimson with fury. 

“I… I can’t believe you fell for it,” he said. His voice sounded frail.

“OF COURSE I FELL FOR IT I TRUST….” Grace froze. “… Lev, are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah,” his voice cracked, so he had to clear his throat before continuing. “Why?” 

“You look really pale,” she said, and he was about to snark back to her that he was pale on the regular when he felt something hot slide down his face. Reaching up, he touched his upper lip and his fingertips came back slick and wet. He looked down to see blood. 

Nobody had put any money on Levi being the one who had to be carried out of the hike but as soon as he saw the blood the boy collapsed. It was slow like his legs were trying to keep him steady but the weight of everything on his shoulders finally caught up to him. Bill surged forward, wrapping himself protectively around Levi and cradling him as he skidded across the rocky ground. 

Nobody bothered to pack the picnic up neatly. Everything was shoved into the nearest bag that would fit it, as they rushed back through the woods. Levi remained limp the whole way back, only stirring as he was buckled into his seat in the car. He could hear Eddie telling the others he’d meet them at the nearest hospital. The car spun out of the parking lot, as Levi felt hands grip his. Somebody was begging him to wake up, and to be okay. It sounded like his dad. 

Levi wished he could have opened his eyes, or said something, just to let them know it was okay. That, really, he didn’t need the hospital. He just needed some rest. He was bone-deep tired and his body ached from the teeth down. Besides… he’d won. The fireflies were gone. The faces under the water were gone. He’d thrown the knife away. 

Then the car faded. The hands around his hand disappeared too. Levi drifted into a deep, satisfying sleep. A darkness that was comforting and reassuring wrapped around him like thick velvet and he rested. 

In the distance, he could hear his father’s voice saying over and over. 

“It will be okay…. It will be okay… It will be okay….” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I'm excited to get to work on the next chapter, and a huge thank you to bonepages for pushing me to be selfish and have fun. It's been great to come back to fanfiction and find joy in writing again for a bit.


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